I want to be Ellie Goulding.

^Her covering Temper Trap's "Sweet Disposition"
She has such a perfect voice.

you can understand dependence when you know the makers hand.

I haven't updated this thing in awhile & I'm not sure where to start. My emotions and thoughts are stirring up a pot of something ugly and I don't see the end of this going well. I've only figured out half of myself in the typical phase most everyone goes through. The "Who am I?" phase...

As of right now I'm currently struggling with what I believe in religiously. Not in some rebellious, ridiculous "I hate God because I think it's cool" type thing. But nor, do I hate him...

I just don't know where I stand. I would love for my thoughts to prove me wrong, that something will happen and I will just know that what I have been raised and taught is right. And oddly, after saying I'm not sure what I believe in I'm requesting some prayer.

"And I'll find strength in pain,

And I will change my ways,
I'll know my name as it's called again."

Mini photo shoot with Linz

Woke up this morning and did a little photo shoot with Linz, they came out really well I think! She is so beautiful!

Here are a few of my favorites:

This one is my absolute favorite:

Black & Gold

If a fish swam out of the ocean, grew legs and started walking

And the apes climbed out from the trees, and grew tall and started talking

And the stars fall out of the sky, and my tears rolled into the ocean

Now I'm looking for a reason why, you set my world into motion

'Cause if you're not really here, then the stars don't even matter

Now I feel too tall, we all fear

But it's all just a bunch of matter

'Cause if you're not really here, then I don't want to be either

I want be next to you

Black and gold, black and gold, black gold

I looked up into the night sky and see I saw an eye staring back

And all around these golden beacons I see nothing but black

I feel a wave of something beyond though, I don't see what I can feel

If vision is the only validation, then most of my life isn't real

'Cause if you're not really here, then the stars don't even matter

Now I feel too tall, we all fear

But it's all just a bunch of matter

'Cause if you're not really here, then I don't want to be either

I want be next to you

Black and gold, black and gold, black gold

I want to be next to you

-Ellie Goulding

The sun is out.

The sun is out today. With all the snow we have had, I was beginning to think it didn't exist.

It reminds me how ready I am for:

-warm weather

-spring dresses

-staying outside all day long

-scootering around the neighborhood.

-working on music in my room with the window open (a favorite of mine)

-and maybe even taking my recording equipment outside and working on music there.

Spring needs to come now.

Formspring/Music Myspace/Life.

Just recently got myself a Formspring! : http://www.formspring.me/ChelseaLayneD

The idea of it is pretty cool, asking people random questions.

And I also just fixed up my music myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/chelseaxxlayne

Put up two more covers for my cover album I'm working on called "The Coverings" : ]

It's going to be pretty rad. I'm also working on original material at the same time.

List of things I need/want.

-Looking into getting a new microphone, mine is kinda messed up and kinda cheap.

-Asking for a ukulele for my birthday which is in March.

-Thinking about getting voice lessons to use my vocals to their full capability.

-Looking for anyone who would want to work on music with me.

So new and exciting things are about to happen for my music/artist life.

And now to real life:

My life seems crazy and yet calm recently. Way too much drama has been pushed my way.

I spent this past week completely with Sophia and my family. It was really nice.

Sophia is pretty great, she is really smart and I can actually hold long interesting conversations with her.

An old friend from 6th grade when I was in private school found me on facebook.

We started talking and turns out her family just started going to WEAG

and she hadn't been going to youth group because she didn't know anyone.

Now she has promised me that she is going to start going because she knows

I am there. And now I'm readying myself for Winter Retreat this weekend.

I'm not sure I have ever been so excited for a retreat like I am now.

Recent great music I'm really into:

Bon Iver. His CD: For Emma Forever Ago AND His EP: Blood Bank.

(musical genius I swear.)

And then fun music. Not anything that is too meaningful:

Lil Wayne

&

The Millionaires

xoxo

Chelsea Layne

I swore to them I wasn't blue

Blue eyes, When I swore to them I wasn't blue.

Blue skies, when we all swore to never cry again.

Blue bird, what you called me the day I fell forward, into, into your blue.

into, into, you.

No roads, of no where, can lead us to here.

Under cold sheets, when you ask me.

Little unfair, that I got there first.

Spin me over, then you ask me first.

Blue eyes, When I swore to them I wasn't blue.

Blue skies, when we all swore to never cry again.

Blue bird, what you called me the day I fell forward, into, into your blue.

into, into, you.

(part of a song I wrote)